Relative Relationship
by Grasshopper2
Summary: I can feel the flames a-brewing for this one. A very long oneshot. Don't stop reading this just because it may offend you. Not all is what it seems.


Disclaimer: All characters, location, etc. belongs to what was formerly Squaresoft but now is something that I don't know how to spell.

A/N: This is a one-shot. Like my other fic, The Day Selphie Didn't Have Sugar, some may be offended by this. It's just a stupid idea that popped into my head and isn't meant to be taken seriously…at all. Actually, yeah, it is meant to be taken seriously. Remember, not all is what it seems. Enjoy!

_:Indicates thought:_

**Indicates flashback**

**:Indicates intercom, radio, computer, etc:**

**Relative Relationship**

Prologue 

Well, a year after Ultimicea had been defeated, quite a number of things changed. Zell and Quistis had fallen for each other. Quistis got her instructor's license back. Seifer and his posse had been executed. Selphie and Irvine quickly got married and were very happy together. Also, Rinoa and Squall realized, right after their first kiss on the balcony, that they weren't right for each other…

**Flashback**

**Rinoa points to a shooting star and turns to Squall. He smiles and they go in for the kiss. They kiss but quickly separate.**

"**Umm…just friends?" Rinoa asks.**

"**Yeah." Squall replies. They shake hands and walk back into the ballroom.**

**End Flashback**

Rinoa decided to stay at Garden none-the-less and was working on becoming a SeeD. She began to date Nida a couple of months later. Squall, meanwhile, was the Commander at Garden still and his personality was opened somewhat. He still had his monotonous tone and somewhat icy personality but he could be happy at times. Also, Squall is in a new relationship with someone quite interesting…

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall sat at his desk when the buzzer on his phone, well, buzzed.

**:Selphie is here to see you.:** Xu said.

"Okay, send her in." Squall replied. The door opened and in bounded Selphie, yellow dress and all.

"Hiya!" she said, jumping into one of the leather chairs in front of his desk.

"What's up?" he asked, taking a break from all of the paperwork.

"We were all just wondering if you wanted to come on a quadruple date with me, Irvine, Quistis, Zell, Rinoa, and Nida."

"I'm not sure, I have a lot of work to do."

"Please? It'll be so much fun!" Selphie pleaded.

"I don't know Selphie." Squall looked at the girl's crestfallen face. He sighed. "What time?"

"Yay! Seven o'clock at the theater in Deling! They're showing Phantom of the Opera!" Squall's face went white.

"Oh please don't make me go see that!"

"Awww…but your _significant other_ loves that play!" Squall sighed yet again.

"Fine. I'll meet you there."

"Okay!" Selphie skipped out of the room. Squall moved some paper to uncover the phone. He picked it up to dial.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall and the gang waited outside in the cold weather in front of the theater for Squall's date to show up. Selphie had gotten very good seats to the play and she was bouncing up and down in anticipation. They all saw a limo round the corner.

"Yay! Your date's here!" Selphie shrieked. She ran over to the limo, pushed the chauffer away, and opened the door. The person who stepped out of the limo was none other than _Laguna_.

"Sir Laguna! I'm so glad you could make it!"

"I'm glad I could too Seffie!" he pulled her into a bear hug, put her down, and went over to Squall. "Hey, hon." He kissed Squall lightly on the lips, which Squall returned. Quistis smiled at the two and grabbed Zell's hand. Zell turned to smile at her, pleased with the attention.

"Come on guys! My nads are about to freeze off!" Irvine said. They followed Irvine in and took their seats.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

After the play, they walked out, the girls and Laguna crying and the guys relieved that they got out. Everyone except Laguna and Squall left.

"I've missed you," Laguna said, stroking Squall's cheek.

"Same here. It's been awhile."

Squall and Laguna's relationship started out just a couple of days after Squall found out that he and Rinoa weren't right for each other. Although he wasn't heartbroken, Squall was still upset because he thought he had finally found true love. He went to Esthar to talk to Ellone about it.

**Flashback**

**Squall climbs up the stairs into the Presidential palace. He nods at the guard, who nods back, and goes in. He looks all over for Ellone, but stumbles across Laguna instead. He's in his office, sitting at his desk and playing a game on his computer.**

"**Yes! High score!" He shouts, throwing his hands into the air. He sees Squall, blushes, and tries to look professional.**

"**Um…is Ellone here?" Squall asks.**

"**Sorry Squall, she's on vacation in Trabia," Laguna replies. "Can I help you with anything though?"**

"**I don't think so." Squall starts to walk out but stops and turns around. "When Raine died, how did you feel?"**

**Laguna stiffens at this question. "Why do you ask?"**

**Squall shakes his head. **

"**I'm not sure. I thought I was in love and it turns out I wasn't. It feels as though part of me has died because I thought I finally found the one thing that would make me happy and I didn't. I guess I wanted to see if that's a little bit how you felt too."**

**Laguna's eyes have gone wide. **

"**I've never heard you say so much." He chuckles a bit but stops to think about the question. **

"**Yes, that is how I felt. The fact that I had left the woman I loved to die in childbirth killed me. It took me a long time to get over it, actually, I don't know if I really have. I don't even know where the child she bore is. He or she would be about your age now I think." **

**Squall goes and sits down in front of his desk. He puts his head on the desk.**

"**The only time I've ever felt like this is when Ellone left the orphanage," he says, sounding muffled. Laguna stands up and walks around his desk to Squall. He puts his hand on Squall's shoulder.**

"**It's horrible isn't it?"**

"**Mm-hmm." **

**Laguna kneels down with some difficulty to face Squall. Squall turns his head to him and Laguna strokes his face. Something stirs inside of the two of them as this sign of affection is taking place. Squall takes his hand in his and looks into his eyes. Tears are forming.**

"**Don't cry," Squall says as he leans in towards him.**

**End Flashback **

They decided to get coffee. Afterwards, Laguna drove Squall back to Garden and walked him to his dorm. Laguna babbled how presidency was while Squall half-listened silently. He loved Laguna but, honestly, he talked way too much. Squall silenced him with a kiss once they got to his door.

"Well, I better go," Laguna said after they broke the kiss. "I love you."

Squall flashed a rare smile. "I love you too." He went into his room and had a very nice sleep.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall got up the next morning and went to work immediately after breakfast. He had barely gotten started when the intercom sounded.

**:Squall, please see Headmaster Cid in his office immediately. I repeat: Squall, please see Headmaster Cid in his office immediately.:**

Squall sighed, got up, and went to the third floor deck, where Cid's office was located. Squall went into the office and saluted once the Headmaster acknowledged his presence.

"At ease," Cid said. Squall relaxed and took a seat by the desk.

"What did you need me for, sir?" he asked.

"There are rumors of an assassination attempt to be performed on President Laguna-" he was interrupted by Squall.

"What? No! Who is it!" Cid looked at him, annoyed with being interrupted.

"Sorry, sir." Squall mumbled.

"Forgiven. The man's name is Jinc Kalossen."

"Jinc Kalossen? But that's the-"

"Vice-president. I know. He supposedly wants to become president of Esthar and form a dictatorship. The president is obviously very concerned about this but doesn't know if it's true or not. He specifically asked for you and Selphie to find out if they are true and if they are, make sure he is found out and put in jail."

"Because Laguna would never want to kill anyone…" Squall whispers. Cids nods.

"Exactly. Luckily, this Jinc fellow isn't very smart, at all. It should be a fairly easy mission. You and Selphie leave tomorrow at noon. Here are the mission folders." Cid handed him the folders containing all of the information needed and dismissed Squall.

As Squall, walked back to his dorm to pack, he ran into Selphie.

"Hiya, Squall! You ready for this mission?" she shrieked. Squall nodded and walked on, hoping Selphie would take a hint and leave but she kept following him.

"I can't believe someone would want to hurt Sir Laguna! He's the nicest person I've ever met, besides Irvine, tee-hee!" She chattered constantly until Squall got to his door.

"I'm sure you're super-duper worried, aren't you Squally? I mean, he is your boyfriend and that wouldn't be very cool if someone hurt him would it?"

"Selphie, I really need to be alone right now," Squall said in a very cold voice. Selphie took a step back.

"Oh, um, okay. I-I'll see you tomorrow." Selphie turned and walked off slowly towards the cafeteria and Squall went into his room. Selphie could hear a yell and a bang on the wall as she walked off. She winced and headed down to the cafeteria.

Once she got there, she spotted the table Rinoa, Quistis, and Irvine were sitting at. She went over, sat down, and sighed. The three already there looked at each other.

"What's wrong, Selphie?" Quistis asked.

"Squall is worried about Laguna."

"Why?" Rinoa asked.

"We just received a mission from Cid that says there are rumors of an assassination attempt on Sir Laguna!" she cried.

"Oh my gosh! Why would someone ever want to hurt Laguna?" Rinoa asked.

"It's the vice-president Jinc Something or other and he wants to take over Esthar and turn it into a dictatorship."

"That's horrible!" Quistis cried. Irvine put his arm around Selphie.

"I'm sure everything will turn out all right Sef," he said. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah! Of course! 'Cause when I see that ol' meanie I'm gonna give him a WHACK! And a HI-YA!" She proceeded to say what she was going to do to him when Squall walked in.

"Squall! Over here!" Rinoa waved Squall over to their table. Squall sat down next to Quistis.

"Feeling better, Squally?" Selphie asked, pausing her battle plan.

"Yeah, but there's a huge hole in my wall." He smiled weakly.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

The next day at noon, Selphie and Squall boarded the train that would take them to Esthar. They read over the information they were given while they traveled. A few hours later, they arrived at the train station in Esthar and went straight to the Presidential palace. They met up with Laguna in his office.

"I'm glad you two made it safely," he said, getting up and going over to them. Squall started crying and hugged Laguna, hard.

"Shhh, it'll be alright." Laguna hugged back and rocked back and forth gently, trying to calm Squall down.

"Awww! That is sooooo cute!" Selphie cried, taking out a camera she brought with her and taking pictures. Squall broke apart from Laguna, remembering Selphie.

"Well, let's get down to business," Squall said, sitting in one of the chairs closest to Laguna's desk. Selphie sat down next to Squall and Laguna sat at his desk.

"We've reviewed the info given to us and there aren't really any leads as to if the rumors are true or not." Squall said. Selphie nodded.

"Yeah! And we don't even know where the guy lives either!" she put in.

"Yes, that's a problem, also. For some reason, his address wasn't in the mission folder."

Laguna sighed. "That's because we had a hard time finding his address. We have found his location now though. It took nearly three weeks just to find out what area he was in. He had recently moved and _somehow_, his files went missing. When we finally asked what happened to them, he said that they 'mysteriously' disappeared."

"Who did you hear the rumors of the assassination from?" Squall asked.

"Kiros, of course. He heard some of the citizens talking about me and saying how they heard rumors about the assassination attempt. When Kiros questioned them, they just said that they had heard them from around the city. Later on, we found out that they were all _major_ supporters of him when he ran against me last year and lost. I regret making him my vice-president now."

"So, where is his apartment? Have you searched it yet?" Selphie asked. Laguna shook his head.

"He lives in an apartment down on Kilur Street. No, we haven't searched it yet because we were trying to keep this as quiet as possible until you all showed up."

Squall stood up. "I guess that's where Selphie and I will search first." He looked at Selphie. "Are you ready to go?"

"You betcha!" they started out the door with Selphie saying, "Don't you worry, Sir Laguna! We'll beat that mean old man!"

Laguna smiled weakly then frowned. _Wait a minute. Old man? He's the same age as me!_

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Selphie and Squall finally found the apartment in an extremely bad area of town. Jinc's apartment was right in front.

_What happened? This man is the vice-president, his salary is three times larger than mine, _Squall thought to himself.

"Should we go in?" asked Selphie.

"No. Look, his car is right there," he pointed out. The car was definitely a lemon. The license plate said 'viceprez'. _That was a stupid thing to put on a license plate, _thought Squall as he walked towards it.

"We'll stay here until he leaves and then we can search."

"But does he have a wife or girlfriend that might be here?" Selphie asked. Squall checked the folder.

"No. He's single and lives alone. Doesn't even have a pet." Squall closed the folder. He noticed that none of his windows faced the location his car was in.

"We can go on and search the car though." He brought a lock pick out of his pocket and unlocked the car door.

Selphie and Squall searched under the seats, around the seats, in the glove compartment, and the trunk. They found a handgun in the trunk. Squall put on some latex gloves and picked it up.

"Well, we at least have him for illegally owning a weapon while being a politician in office," he said.

"That's a law?" Selphie asked, shocked.

"It is in Esthar."

"What about Laguna and his machine guns?"

Squall smiled and put a finger to his lips. "Shhh."

Squall put the gun back, took a picture of it, the license plate, the car, and the surrounding area, and walked back to the van they came in. Selphie followed him.

"So do we just wait here until he leaves?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Fun," Selphie said sarcastically.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

A few hours later, Selphie had long fallen asleep and Squall was nodding off when he heard a car start, with some trouble. He perked up and looked out the van window. Jinc was finally leaving. He nudged Selphie.

"Wake up!" he hissed. Selphie woke up with a start.

"Huh? What?"

"He left!" Selphie jumped up and hit her head on the van roof.

"Ouchies…" she complained, rubbing her head. They got out of the van and went to the front door. Squall took out the lock pick again and opened the front door. He and Selphie tiptoed in and started looking around.

It was a fairly small apartment. It had a kitchen, bathroom, living area attached to the kitchen, and two bedrooms, one of which was used as a study.

"I'll look in the study, you check the bedroom." Squall requested.

"Okies!" Selphie skipped into the bedroom, leaving Squall shaking his head at her actions. He started with the desk drawers and moved around that way.

"Oh! I think I found something!" Selphie yelled from the bedroom. Squall ran into the bedroom.

"What did you find?"

"Tee-hee! Look at these!" Squall looked over Selphie's shoulder to see her holding pink and blue boxers with bunnies on them.

"Selphie! Be serious!" He stomped back in the study and went to the filing cabinet. He finally found what he was looking for. It was a folder with an itinerary for February 12, pictures, floor plans, etc.

_February 12? That's tomorrow!_

"Selphie! I found something!" Selphie came in and stood next to him.

"It's a folder with what I think are some clues. Come on, let's go back to the van and analyze them." Selphie looked at Squall's face. He was really excited. They went back to the van and started looking at the papers.

"Okay, let's see here," Selphie said as she picked up the itinerary. It was covered with little notes beside some of the times. Squall took a laptop out to type all the info down.

"At 11:00am, Laguna will go to the capital building to make a speech to the people about the new pollution control plan. At around 11:15, Jinc will be in the building opposite the capital building and fire a shot at Laguna with the handgun we found." Selphie went on to explain his escape and motives.

"He's very vague with the motives," Selphie stated. She saw the pictures in lying in the folder. Her eyes went wide. "Squall! Look at these!"

Squall paused his typing to look at the photos. His eyebrows rose as he grabbed them. There were about ten of them and they all had him and Laguna showing some sort of display of affection. The last one was from their last date at the theater when they had kissed. It had a huge red 'x' through it.

"That is so pathetic!" Selphie cried. "He only wants Laguna dead because he's gay!"

"But the report said he wanted to make a dictatorship…"

"Mission reports can be wrong sometimes. Besides, if it were a dictatorship, he could get rid of all the people he hates."

Squall looked at the pictures. His face turned to disgust at the thought of someone killing Laguna over something so trivial. He took pictures of all the evidence and sneaked the folder back in. Just as he came out, Jinc's car pulled in. Squall froze, not knowing how to escape. Jinc immediately saw him and recognized who it was. Jinc smiled and pulled a handgun, different form the one in the trunk, out of his pocket and aim it towards him. The last thing Squall saw was a bullet streaming at him.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall woke up in what he guessed to be a hospital room. He tried to sit up but was stopped by a sharp pain in his rib area. He lied back down and looked around as best he could. He noticed Laguna next to the bed. He was asleep. Squall reached over and tapped his knee. Laguna awoke with a start. He smiled boldly when he saw that Squall was awake.

"Hey! How are you?" Laguna asked.

"A little sore."

Laguna chuckled. "Well, I can see why."

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"Two days…"

Laguna's smile turned to a frown and he started sobbing.

"S-Squall, I was so worried! When the police found you, you were almost dead-" He couldn't finish because his sobs became very loud. Squall petted his hair.

"What exactly happened?" he asked. Laguna calmed down.

"Well, Jinc had come home very drunk and didn't notice the van. He fired a shot at you, which you obviously know. Selphie immediately cast a Stop spell on him and called the police and then me. She got up to you and was unable to remove the bullet because it was so deep. The police and paramedics arrived. While the paramedics tended to you, Selphie showed the police all of the evidence that you had found and of course the fact that he had shot you. He was arrested on the spot. His trial would be a week from now but..." Laguna trailed off.

"But what?" asked Squall.

"It turned out he lost a lot of money gambling, all of it and more actually. He owed a few men a lot of money. When Jinc was put in jail, it turns out the two of them had also been arrested for drugs. When they saw that they would never get the money now, they killed him. Anyway, now you're in Odin's hospital. Why I gave him his own hospital I'll never know."

Squall just laid there, his mouth hanging open. Laguna was about to say something more but an intercom interrupted him.

**:Laguna! Vou are needed in mi offeece emmediately:** Dr. Odin yelled over the PA system.

"Damnit. I'll be right back Squall," Laguna said, kissing his forehead. Squall closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

Meanwhile, in Dr. Odin's office, Laguna was waiting for the doctor to actually show up. Odin came in.

"I have some very serious news."

"What?" Laguna asked, thoroughly confused.

"We took a DNA test ov Squall. I turned around vor one moment and the computer started beeping. I jumped because it scared mi. I looked at the computer and just stared at it. It shocked mi to no ends. You see, it was very very od-"

"Can you please get to the point?" Laguna interrupted. Odin looked irritated.

"Ov course. The DNA matches yours. He's your son. Have a good day." Odin left Laguna open-mouthed and shocked.

About half and hour later, he was finally able to stand and walk very wobbly back to Squall's room. He looked in and saw that he was asleep.

_How will I tell him? Oh Hyne! This is not good! I love him! And not in a father-son kinda way! Surely this isn't true!_

He decided to go see the two DNA himself. He snuck in to Odin's computer lab and looked at the computers. Although he didn't look it, Laguna was a science geek and was really good at determining genetics. He observed the two separate DNA. His hope died. It was true, he was Squall's father.

Laguna decided to go into his bedroom and take a nap.

_Maybe this is just a dream. Yeah! That's it, a dream._

He fell into a fitful sleep.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall woke up again a couple of hours later. He saw that Laguna wasn't there, got up with some difficulty, and went to search for him. He found him taking a nap.

_Poor thing, he must have been up for hours._

Squall went to his bed and climbed in next to him. Laguna awoke and saw that Squall was next to him.

"AHHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Laguna screamed, jumping out of the bed. Squall looked hurt.

"What's wrong?" Laguna shook his head.

"C'mon, you can tell me!" Squall went up to him and leaned in to kiss him. Laguna turned a hideous shade of green and ran out of the room.

Squall shrugged. "Whatever."

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

The next day, Squall went down to breakfast. He tried to find Laguna but he wasn't anywhere around. In fact, he didn't see him for the rest of the day. This absence continued all week.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Later that week, Odin said that Squall was good enough to go home. He had wanted to say good-bye to Laguna but he was told that he was very sick and couldn't see him. Although he was worried, he had to take care of all the work that he was sure had piled up on him while he was away.

As soon as he got back to Balamb, he was tackled by Selphie. He fell down and she sat on his stomach.

"Heeeeeeey! I'm so glad you're okay! You have no clue how we worried were about you! So how are you feeling? Did you get to spend some time with Laguna? Did you hear what happened to Jinc? I guess that explains the apartment and car. That's why you should never gamble. Right? Of course right!"

Squall kept trying to answer her questions but she just kept talking.

"Selphie?"

She was telling him about Zell choking on a hotdog again.

"Selphie?"

Now she was babbling about the gift Irvine got her.

"SELPHIE?" Squall yelled, sitting up quickly. Selphie let out a squeak and fell off.

"What?"

"Did Laguna seem strange to you when I was unconscious?"

"Yeah."

"He did?"

"Well of course silly-poo! He was worried sick that you were really hurt!"

"Eh, that's not what I mean."

"Huh? What _do_ you mean then?"

"Well, when I first woke up he was okay but after he got back from Odin, he avoided me as if I had a horrible disease."

"Well, maybe you do."

"Selphie!" Selphie laughed.

"Also, he avoided me all week. It was really strange."

"I'm just joking! Why don't you just go back to Esthar and ask him?"

"I can't. I'm sure my office is drowning in a sea of paperwork. Besides, Laguna wouldn't say anything. "

"So sneak into Odin's office and see for yourself. Also, do you really think Cid would make you do all of that after being shot? Please. We all chipped in and did it for you." Selphie began to push Squall back towards the car. "Now you go and find out what's wrong!" Squall looked at Selphie with gratitude in his eyes and did the most un-Squall like thing imaginable, he hugged Selphie.

"Thanks Selph. Tell everyone that I'm very grateful."

Squall got in the car. Selphie just stood there with her mouth hanging open, shocked.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Laguna sat in his office, his head in his palms. Suddenly, Ellone came running in.

"Uncle Laguna! I heard what happened! Is Squall okay?" she asked, panting.

Laguna didn't say anything.

"Uncle Laguna, Squall's alright isn't he?"

Laguna looked up with tears in his eyes.

"Oh Hyne…he's not de-"

"Worse," Laguna said, interrupting her.

"If you don't tell me what's going on this instant then there's going to be some hell to pay!"

Laguna looked at her.

"I'll tell you, but you _cannot_ under any circumstances, tell Squall." Ellone nodded her head to agree.

"Odin called me to his office and-" he cut himself short and began to sob. Ellone walked over to him and rubbed his back, calming him down.

"Ellone, Squall is my son…"

Ellone bit her lip.

"Uncle Laguna, I have something to tell you. I-I…know that he's your son. That's why I sent him to the past, to try and reunite you two."

Laguna looked at her in disbelief.

"You knew and you didn't tell us? Do you agree with inbreeding or something?" he yelled. Ellone stood there, taking the punishment of his yells. When he finished, she said,

"Uncle Laguna, how could I stop the happiness between you two? You finally realized it wasn't your fault Raine died and Squall opened up! It was a miracle what happened."

Laguna let these words sink through.

"You're right. But what now? I can't look at Squall the same and I there's no way I'll be able to treat him as a lover."

Ellone was silent. After a few minutes she spoke.

"Well, Squall will be heartbroken if you tell him about this and he'll be heartbroken if you tell him you can't be with him. The best thing to do is to probably not see him for awhile…"

"I-I guess so…"

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall snuck into the presidential palace. He saw the guards and avoided them because they would probably alert Laguna that he was there. After a couple of close calls with Laguna's moombas, Squall finally made it to Odin's office.

He was just about to go in when he heard someone walking down the hall. He jumped behind a potted plant that was conveniently placed next to the door. Whoever it was came closer. Squall looked between the branches and saw that it was Laguna. He immediately forgot about his mission and jumped out in front of Laguna.

"Laguna! I haven't seen you in a week. Where did you go last week?"

Laguna was so startled that he dropped all the folders he had been carrying. He blushed furiously and bent over to pick up the folders.

"Uhhh…I-uh…had a business trip! Yeah! That's it!" he stumbled out.

"Oh. That makes sense." Squall leaned in to kiss him. Laguna yelped and ran off, dropping the folders again. Squall was so shocked that he just stood there.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall came back to Garden with his head hung low. He went to his dorm and fell asleep.

A few hours later he was noisily woken up by Selphie.

"Hiya! How'd it go?" she asked.

"I never made it to Odin's office. I saw Laguna and I just had to talk to him. He said he had been on a business trip or something. When I tried to kiss him, he ran off."

Selphie looked confused.

"That's really odd. Well, the only thing to do is wait it out. If he doesn't go back to normal in a week or two, you need to go back to Odin's office and see what's going on."

Squall nodded his head.

"As for right now, let's get you some dinner! I bet Odin's food is pretty gross."

Squall smiled a small smile and walked down with her to the cafeteria.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Mean while, Laguna was in the security room, looking at all the cameras to make sure Squall was gone. When he saw that he left, Laguna sighed with relief. He pulled hand through his hair and went to find Ellone. He found her in his office, doing some paperwork for him.

"Thanks Ellone."

"No problem, Uncle Laguna. After being so stressed out, it's the least I can do."

"I was being sarcastic."

Ellone swiveled the chair around.

"What do you mean?"

"It's too hard to avoid Squall. I love him too much."

Ellone bit her lip.

"Well, you could go on and pretend nothing happened."

Laguna shook his head.

"I just ran into him in the hall. I tried to but it just didn't work. It's too weird."

"Then I guess just stick to the original plan."

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

For a week Squall called him about three times a day but Laguna never answered. He left messages voicing love and questions. He didn't want to loose his Laguna.

The next week he was too depressed to call. He returned to his old self and snapped at anyone who tried to talk to him, even Selphie.

One day, Selphie went down to the cafeteria. It looked as if she had been crying. Rinoa was at the table. She had been crying also. Irvine and Quistis were trying to comfort her. Selphie sat down. Irvine drew her up into a hug.

"I'm guessing there was no luck with Squall?" he asked. Selphie shook her head.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I tried calling Laguna but he only answered once and when he found out it was me, he hung up."

Selphie noticed Rinoa.

"Rinoa! What's wrong?" Rinoa looked up, eyes all puffy.

"Me and Nida broke up." Selphie stared in disbelief.

"Why?"

"He's transferring to Trabia Garden and we both feel it's for the best. But it hurts so much!" Rinoa began to sob very hard. Selphie bit her lip and hugged Rinoa. She sniffed and smiled sadly at Selphie.

"I'm really sorry to bring this up at a time like this, but what are we going to do about Squall and Laguna?" asked Quistis.

"Well, I have an idea cooking up," said Selphie.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Zell. He had a script on a small piece of paper and a phone was in one hand.

"Well, it's not as if we can just go to Esther. What with the Laguna's been acting, he would probably shoot us down," said Selphie.

Zell looked at Quistis, Rinoa, and Irvine. They all nodded.

"Then why do I have to do it?" whined Zell.

"Because you make the best Headmaster Cid imitation!" said Selphie, starting to get annoyed. "Now hurry up!"

Zell sighed and dialed Laguna's number. It started to ring. Zell cleared his throat when Laguna picked up the phone.

"Hello, may I speak to Laguna Loire, please?" he said in a deep voice.

"…Hello President Loire. I'm afraid I'm calling with some horrible news………I'm sorry to tell you this but Squall was hit by a poison bullet and he has only a few hours left to live…………Calm down sir! He really needs to see you, please hurry over as fast as you can!"

Zell hung up the phone.

"Phew, that was harder than I thought…"

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

In Esther, Laguna was running towards the train station. He got there, bought a ticket, and boarded. A few minutes later the train was moving. Laguna sat in the presidential coach and put is head in his hands.

_What was I thinking? I have to tell Squall about this! Otherwise he'll just keep getting hurt by me over and over again. _

After a few minutes of thinking, Laguna fell into a deep sleep until the train came to a stop.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Meanwhile, Selphie, Zell, Irvine, and Quistis were waiting out by the front gate for Laguna's arrival. Their eyes were all red and puffy and the air smelled of onions.

"**Now guys, we gotta make this look realistic," stated Selphie, "So put these under your eyes and think sad thoughts." She handed each of them an onion slice.**

"**Hey, where's Rinoa?" asked Irvine, already starting to tear up.**

"**She's still really depressed about her break-up. She wanted to come but I told her to rest." Quistis replied.**

"**Do you really think this will work, Selphie?" asked Zell.**

"**I sure hope so."**

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

Squall was wandering around the dorms, trying to stop thinking. He heard crying from Rinoa's dorm and decided to go in. He opened the door and saw Rinoa with candles all around and sad emo music playing. She looked up quickly at the sound of the door opening and immediately wiped away her tears.

"Hi," Squall said.

"Hi."

"What's wrong?"

"Nida and I broke up."

Squall nodded.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I don't know what's wrong with Laguna."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Squall blinked. "Yeah, I do. Wanna talk about yours?"

Rinoa nodded. The door shut quietly.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

A taxi cab came barreling towards the front gate with amazing speed.

"That must be him," Quistis said.

"Okay guys, remember, think sad thoughts!" Selphie exclaimed.

The taxi pulled over and Laguna leapt out. He was obviously in hysterics.

"Where's Squall? Where's my son?"

"He's up in his do- wait a minute. Son!" Zell exclaimed. Laguna paled.

"Oh…I mean boyfriend, heheh, yeah…crap."

"Laguna, what's going on with you?" Quistis asked.

"I'll tell you later, first I need to see Squall!" Laguna ran through the four SeeDs and went to the dorms. He found Squall's dorm and pulled open the door. Selphie and the others were quick in catching up with him.

"Squall! I need to tel-" he stopped and turned around to the others. "Where is he? You told me he was in his dorm!"

"Laguna! Calm down! Squall is not dying!" Irvine said. Laguna eyes widened.

"What?"

Irvine sighed. "He's not dying, sir. We said that so you would come down here to see him and possibly tell him why you've been avoiding him like a plague."

Laguna's shoulders sagged. "It's such a long story."

"We've got time, Sir Laguna." Selphie said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

Laguna sighed and started to tell them all that had been going on.

GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

In Rinoa's dorm, she and Squall had finished all of their talking and were sitting listening to music. Rinoa looked over at him.

"You know, it's weird, that after we went through, it turns out we _weren't_ in love when we both truly thought we were," she said. Squall nodded.

"I feel the same way." Rinoa scooted closer to him. "But maybe we just didn't give it a chance," he said right before leaning in to her.

At that moment, Laguna burst in.

'Rinoa! Have you seen Squall?" He was closely followed by Selphie, Zell, Irvine, and Quistis. Squall leapt out of, quickly forgetting about Rinoa.

"Laguna! What are you doing here?" exclaimed a surprised Squall.

"Squall!" Laguna went over to him and gave him a hug, a fatherly one. Squall broke away.

"Selphie, guys, why is he here?" The gang looked down at the ground.

"What's going on?" Laguna sighed.

"Squall, I have something to tell you."

"What is it, Sweetheart?" Laguna cringed.

"Umm…well…oh boy…How do I say this?"

Zell got impatient. "He's your dad, Squall!"

Squall's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

Laguna nodded. "It's true. That's why I've been avoiding you. I've been trying to think of a way to tell you. I know it seems unbelievable, but it's true."

Squall sunk to sit on Rinoa's bed. Laguna went and sat next to him.

"Obviously, we can't be together anymore."

Squall sat silent for a few minutes. He finally opened his mouth to speak.

"You mean every time we kissed, I was kissing my **_DAD?_**"

"Well…yeah."

"I think I'm going to be sick." He ran into Rinoa's bathroom.

"Well, at least he didn't cry," Selphie remarked.

"Yeah, if he thinks it's just really gross maybe it'll help the healing process." Quistis said. Laguna shrugged.

"This was way easier than I thought it would. It's weird, now that I know he's my son, my intimate feelings are completely gone. Now, I just want to be the father I never was."

Quistis nodded. "That makes sense."

During all of this, Rinoa was in complete shock.

"Oh. My. Hyne. This is just the craziest week ever," she said as she collapsed on her bed. Squall came out at that moment.

"So, now what do we do, Lag-, I mean dad?"

"I have no idea. I guess we just pretend any of this ever happened."

"Works for me." Squall got up. "Hey Rinoa, can I talk to for a second." Rinoa nodded. He led her out of the room and headed for the training center. Laguna smiled at the two and turned to the rest.

"Thanks guys, I don't think I ever could have told him if you hadn't gotten me here."

"No problemo, Sir Laguna!" Selphie piped up.

"Well, I guess I better go back to Esthar. Kiros, Ward, and Ellone will be worried."

They all said their good-byes and Laguna left. By then, it had gotten very dark. As he exited Garden, he looked up at the balcony. There were Squall and Rinoa. Squall took Rinoa's hand in his. Rinoa smiled and looked towards the sky. She pointed to a shooting star. Squall moved in closer and kissed her. Laguna smiled and began walking towards Balamb.


End file.
